


What's Yours Is Mine

by bluemermaid54



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Bittersweet, F/F, Happy, Reunion, kind of, nicky comes back from max and struggles with a few things, nicky pov, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 11:07:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20795642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemermaid54/pseuds/bluemermaid54
Summary: Nicky comes back from max and doesn't deal with her issues. Seems about rightAt least she has Lorna





	What's Yours Is Mine

**Author's Note:**

> "Takes a degenerate to know a degenerate."

She’d done it, she’d done it, she’d done it again, she’d broken her strike. 

2 years down the drain they went right back to square one with the snap of a finger. Or, in this case, a lick. 

How could she have been so thick? She couldn’t have known that the guard had a dick. 

“Nichols, you’re being transferred up to gen pop.” The guard’s terse tone broke her from her stupor, and the meal she hadn’t touched. She looked up. 

“Let’s move it along, we don’t have all day.” 

“Like, right now-right now? My luke warm mashed potatoes haven’t even gotten cold yet.” 

The guard rolled her eyes. 

Nicky sighed. 

“Alright, well let’s get this show on the road.” 

It was delayed effect, but it hit her. 

_ More access. More access _ . 

“Wait, can I ask why?” 

The guard shook her head. “Caputo signed your release form. My guessing’s someone really had their dick wet for you.” 

_ Or  _ he _ did.  _

The van was older and colder than she’d last seen, so her knees still bounced with the warm summer breeze. 

“I feel like a kid on Christmas morning,” Nicky said, feeling a rush through her chest as she thought about Morello, and Red, hell even Vause she’d missed. 

“You’re probably the first person I’ve seen make it back up,” said the guard. “What’d you do up there, anyway?” 

“You don’t wanna know,” said Nicky, remembering how many people she’d traded with, how many followers that brought her. Before Red came along and scooped her out of the hole she’d dug for herself, ruining and saving her life at the exact same time. 

She thought of Lorna, how much she hated seeing her use drugs in spite of her complete sober insanity and how much Nicky secretly loved her for it, and sometimes would talk about using just to get the beautiful brunette to look at her more than half a second. 

“I believe you,” said the guard, unamused. 

Nicky missed Lorna’s body, but she could only convince herself so long it was her body she wanted. What she really wanted was to see was Lorna’s smile after she told her how she’d backsass a guard, gotten custodial duty and sent countless kites to all the inmates in SHU as a figurative middle finger to the system. She couldn’t wait to smell her perfume again when it wrapped around her neck in a tight, choke holding hug, never knowing when the next could be their last. In that moment, Nicky truly believed Lorna to be her last. 

Not soon enough they were pulling up at camp, and Nicky was freed from her cuffs as the guard escorted her through the doors. She didn’t have to go through processing this time, so she instead was passed like a football straight to another guard, a tall one she didn’t recognize with striking blue eyes. They almost reminded her of her mother’s. 

She’d never been less turned on in her life, but she could still appreciate masculinity when it deserved it. 

“Inmate Nichols, correct?” he asked with a deep, firm voice. 

“That’d be me. Though to be honest, I prefer Nicky cause Nichols just makes me feel like I’m counting coins.” 

Silence. 

Okay, so he’s not a funny one.  _ Get it together _ . 

“I’m going to lead you to your bunk now, inmate.” 

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” 

____ 

Nicky didn’t take long to figure out the differences from the last time she’d left Litch. In addition to having at least double the amount of prisoners, they had a brand new cafeteria, construction outside, and actually bunked beds. For how long they’d been calling them bunks, at least now the shoe fit. 

Nicky could see how everyone else hated camp, but where she’d come from this felt like a paradise. There weren’t any toilets in the rooms, she reasoned as she set her stuff down on her bed. But she knew prison. It wasn’t down time for her. They were going to assign her a job, or take her to get assessed somewhere, or meal time, or- 

“That’ll be all for now, inmate.” 

“Wait a minute, aren’t you going to assign me a job or something? I’m already broke for the rest of my life, may as well humor me and let me get my 2 cents in . . . Maybe I am a cheapskate.” 

“We don’t have any jobs available at the moment due to the . . . unusually high influx of population, so you are going to sit tight until we figure out where to put you.” 

“Oh, great! That’s reassuring. You know, a bored mind is a dangerous mind if you give it the right tools. Or none at all.” 

“Is that a threat, inmate?” The guard leaned much closer in her space than she was comfortable, and she could’ve counted the angry wrinkles on his purpling forehead. Normally guards wouldn’t have laughed at that type of behavior but at least they would have kept their cool somewhat. This one was clearly off his rocker, so Nicky made a mental note to watch herself around him. 

“N-No, I was just- No threat at all, just being me.” 

“You’ll learn to have some more respect around here, inmate. I know you think you may have been a big shot around here back in the day, but things have changed.”

_ Oh, I’m sure they have _ , Nicky didn’t say. 

She looked him down, nodding because she’d long since learned when to back off when a guard meant business. And this guy, head to toe with his standoffish yet controlling demeanor, was dressed to the nines for his interview with an apple in his left hand. 

“Okay. I see,” she said, erasing the rudeness from her tone as much as she could. “I’ll just lie here on my bed like a free woman. Actually sounds kinda nice.” 

_ Shut up shut up shut up, _

“You’re really funny. You know that?” His words were calculated, cold, and Nicky averted eye contact. He was acting a little too intensely for her liking. 

“If I can’t be funny, then what am I?” she asked. “Look at where we are. I gotta find the joy in some things.” 

“You’re a criminal,” he said, and no duh. Where did he think they were? “You aren’t a real person when you're here. You’re not allowed to be yourself. You have the whole rest of your life on the outside to be the clown, make jokes that everyone else pretends to laugh at, and be the one that makes everybody else smile.” Okay, ouch. A little far? “But while you're here, you don’t get to do any of those things. You stand up straight, listen to when someone is talking to you, and do as you’re told. That’s it.” 

“You can feed a horse, but you can’t force a horse to-” 

“That’s a shot, inmate.” 

Nicky’s heart jolted. Not even 30 minutes in and she already got a shot for back sassing. What else did she expect from herself? 

“For what?” 

“You wanna make it two?” 

Was this guy for real? 

“Am I not allowed to ask why I’m getting a shot?” 

“Insubordination.” His words were stoic, unemotional. He turned around and left without another word. Nicky couldn’t help but find it funny she’d pissed off a stranger so much he’d given her a shot for none other than her finding humor in the fact that she couldn’t get a job. 

Once he was gone, she breathed out a sigh of relief and flopped back on her bed, pushing back the bushy hair that sprawled out in front of her face. She felt herself vibrating with excitement, like her body couldn’t physically take the anticipation. She was about to see her family again. 

_ But she used again. Red would find out. _

And just like that, her moment was gone. She could only lie to Red for so long. Now Red was going to think she used the entire time she was away, and even if she believed her, she would still think that Nicky used right before she left. She had been  _ clean,  _ and Red would never know. But now, Nicky couldn’t even justify that, either, because the bottom line was she’d used again. May as well accept defeat until she could get herself back on track. Red didn’t have to find out. Not now. 

Her family could wait. She needed to figure out who ran the game around here. 

She stood up, and went off to find her best friend, her one and only love, that had always been there through every hardship of her life. That was more than she could say for Lorna. She didn’t want to mess with people who left as soon as things got difficult, any more. 

_____ 

It’s not like Nicky would’ve ever voluntarily sought out contact with Angie, or any of the other meth heads for that matter. Their breath smelled worse than the shit her roommate had taken last night, and the things they said smelled even worse to her ears. But users were users, and even Nicky was able to recognize that right now her pursuit of happiness overrode her code of morality, and they were all the same. 

“Hey, Angie, you got a minute? Your girl needs to talk shop.” 

“Nicky? I thought you were like, banished forever. What brought you back?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I thought so too but here I am, and I’d kinda like to skip that part if you don’t mind.” 

Angie averted eye contact before looking back at Nicky. 

“I’m not holding right now, but my next shipment comes in Wednesday. I can’t promise you an exact amount.” 

“I’ll take what I can get until I’m back on my feet.” 

“You’ve been using the whole time you were away?” 

“Not your business. I’ll see you Wednesday.” 

“Wait a minute, you’re not getting in on me for free. I want 15% of your next commissary deposit.” 

“Ang, I don’t have a commissary deposit to give. Remember that one time I helped you after you escaped? I’m sure there’s been more, but those are on me. Consider this payback.” 

Angie sighed. “Fine.” 

Nicky left without another word, and before she could even gather her bearings or figure out how she was supposed to hide the inevitable from Red, a certain voice called her attention and made her forget the entire transaction even took place, hell, everything. 

“Nicky?” 

She looked up, and sure enough, she could’ve recognized that Jersey shore anywhere. Lorna looked beautiful as ever. 

“Is that really you, hun? Please tell me my eyes aren’t playin tricks on me!” 

Nicky’s face literally couldn’t hold the grin it was carrying. She probably looked like the Cheshire and she didn’t even care. 

“Not this time, doll.” And they were running toward each other and hugging harder than she’d ever dreamed of. She clung on for dear life and breathed in her scent, reminiscing all the comfort the girl had given her without her even knowing. Because to Nicky, even if Lorna was the one that needed comfort, just the feeling of being needed and appreciated by someone was more than enough for her. 

“Oh, Nicky, I’ve missed you so much. You don’t even know.” Lorna held her tighter, and Nicky felt her entire frame shake with laughter. Not even heroin had ever made her feel this good. Did she even need it? She thought about reconsidering her deal with Angie. If Lorna was around to help her get clean, then maybe she didn’t need it after all. 

“A part of me hates that you’re still in here, love, but a bigger part of me always knew your crazy self wouldn’t be anywhere else,” said Nicky incredulously, lips not moving right with how big she was smiling. “They move your hearing up any?” 

“I don’t got no more hearing to move up,” Lorna responded, dejected, pulling back with that pouty face Nicky always hated and wanted to kiss away, but never could. “They changed some of the laws based on the shifting criteria for insanity, so I’m just a basket case now and I don’t got no more legs to stand on. I’m gonna rot away in here til I’m 40.” 

“Well, there’s no better place to waste your youth than a soul sucking box, now, is there?” Nicky asked with a forced laugh, feeling down for Lorna even though a selfish little spark of joy ignited with the idea that she’d get to stay by her side just that little bit longer. 

“At least we got each other. And you know I got a ways to go babe, I’m not going anywhere.” 

“I know,” Lorna said, even as her smile faded a little and the light dimmed in her eyes. Something was off, but Nicky felt too elated right now to ask her what it was. That selfish part of her that had scored the heroin was growing rapidly, and it wanted to relish in this golden moment with Lorna as long as possible. 

So she took her dainty, little hand in hers, and brought it up to her lips, giving it a sweet, soft kiss. Said what words couldn’t. And enjoyed the moment for what it was. Sadness could come later. This happiness, this love, this was now. And Nicky was going to hold onto it for as long as she could. 

“Let’s go for a walk, babe. Seems we have a lot to catch up on.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. As always, see you on the next one. 
> 
> -A


End file.
